To love purely and selflessly is the boldest, truest, and most courageous decision any of us make in our lifetime.
To love is to make oneself vulnerable before another.
Becoming vulnerable is a work of heart.
It takes courage, whose root comes from the same word as Core, heart.
There is foolishness at times in love and infatuation, and there is at times incredible beauty in the lowering of one’s defenses, the surrender of the ego, and the welcoming of love.
When we lower our defenses and shields, it is an chance to be hurt. But without lowering the shields, love cannot enter the heart. The walls that protect us can also keep us not only safe but also unloved.
Here is an insight from the great Islamic mystical tradition:
love is not a decision to extend one’s feelings towards another human being.
It is simply merging with the oceanic current of love that flows from God,
brings this world into creation, and will someday carry us back to God.
We love not in order to attain to this beloved, that beloved.
We love in order to attain to love itself.
And since God is love,
we love in order to attain to God.
In love, we become… divine.
We love in order to eradicate selfishness from our own self, to welcome beauty and grace into the heart, cleanse it of all but God.
In doing so, we become worthy of someone who has done the same work on their own heart and soul.
Many of us have experienced the dangers and harms that come with being attracted to the wrong type.
And there is a joy, an overwhelming alchemy that comes along by entering into love with someone who has dealt with their own ego, and welcomed grace into their own heart.
Then it would be this:
love meeting love.
Grace meeting grace.
Beauty meeting beauty.
Mirrors facing each other, reflecting to eternity.
There is a love that offers without counting, without keeping track, without bitterness, and without hope or expectation of reciprocity.
That love offers because it is what a candle does: it burns. It does what the sun does: it illuminates. It does what incense does, burn while lending fragrance.
Will and choice were abandoned long ago in this love.
No, it is not alone sufficient for a relationship, which would demand and deserve reciprocity, self-care, and balance. But that love can be a potent spiritual path of alchemically transforming the ego.
The great saying below (often attributed to Rumi, though probably from here) says it best:
“Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.”